


Of all the F words

by MR01



Category: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV)
Genre: A day in the life of these two dorks, Domestic Bliss, Drunken Shenanigans, F/M, Families of Choice, Friendship/Love, Future Fic, Idiots in Love, Married Couple, Nathaniel still does Zoo lawyering, Rebetzel's Pretzels, Rethaniel is my shit!, The Paddle Bar is the place to be on Open Mic Night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-12 09:53:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19129651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MR01/pseuds/MR01
Summary: When Rebecca wakes up this morning it is to the sound of whales.





	Of all the F words

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own 'Crazy Ex-Girlfriend' I've just been a fan since it started. I loved it all.

* * *

When Rebecca wakes up this morning it is to the sound of whales. Then it's her alarm going off and yeah she's sure that this should be a good morning.

"Oh, hey there." Rebecca smiles at him something soft yet kinda worried for him as she stretches while sitting up on their mattress.

He is looking at a YouTube video. It sounds like it's probably a documentary on whales the mammal not the country.

 She gets up with the intention to go pee then brush her teeth after flushing and washing her hands only for him to look up at her saying that he's already ordered breakfast.

That it should be here shortly. Asking if she could hurry it up in there cuz he wants to take a shower and walking down the hall to do it feels like too much work at the moment.

Setting his phone aside he gets gets up putting on some sandals then heading for the restroom by the hall.

Having deciding that he might as well just get this over with. That he doesn't want his food to get cold when it arrives nor go all that late to work.

Strips and removes his watch. Putting some music on as he turns the faucet on.

He gets in and shuts his eyes as he lets it spray over him. Almost drowning in shampoo by the time he grabs a sponge.

Hearing a knock on the partly open door he peaks out the crack between the wall and the shower curtain to see Rebecca holding a wet toothbrush, looking amused as she says.

"You forgot you towel hun, I'll leave it on the rack. Oh and hurry I think I just head the doorbell."

"Either they are quick or were in the neighborhood. I'll leave 'em a good tip. Because I'm hungry and they saved me." 

He moves back under the showerhead as he shuts his eyes. Giving a small laugh.

Mumbling to himself. She catches the words spoken with such joy and candor. "You still love me."

She feels her heart skip a beat as she heads for the door. Turning on the TV she settles on Gentleman Jack, turning up the volume as she heads for the couch.

* * *

 "Welcome to Rebetzels. Can I interest you in a two for one jalapeño-cheddar pretzel sticks deal." She points to a sample under the glass and directs their gaze above her to the menu.

That lists all the pretzel types and combinations in clear, blood letters along with the prices and specials for the day.

"Or a flame-baked yellow pepper knot, they are new and the recipe is from Guatemala. Courtesy of my husband's latest travel visit."

She was starting to grow bored because like most successful businesses it has it's slow moments.

"They are perfect for on the go actions like driving or texting, both but you know neither are safe while driving or walking really."

"I would know. I'm a successful lawyer, well was until I decided to follow my passions. I now write songs as a side hustle."

She is really out here giving them her life story and it so nice to vent to complete strangers. 

Even though she knows it's completely unprofessional and c'mon no one has time to unpack all of that.

Still she continues. Slowing down now that it's coming to an end.

"And sometimes volunteer at an Innocence Project-esque program at my old firm on weekends."

"Getting back to the law thing I even graduated from Harvard with honors and everything."

Rebecca gives them a couple of minutes to decide and she sees that a line is beginning to form now so she really hopes the they make up their mind quickly.

Now that she's on the subject she thinks that she should come with a quirky name for these two.

After they've ordered and she has rung them up her phone rings to show Valencia's name. 

She picks up and sees Paula with Heather at what seems like Home Base.

"What's up bitches?"

* * *

  "This man brought an armadillo. I can't take care of it. So I thought the Zoo could do with an exhibit. Maybe next to the crocodiles or the zebras." 

Nathaniel stares at the man in question with a large cardboard box full of holes then the concerned Zookeeper.

"I'm a lawyer not a Zoologist. But I'm pretty sure the West Covina Zoo cannot accept live or dead animal donations. There's a policy in place for that. The public just isn't good for business in that aspect." 

He sighs as he rubs his temple. Buzzing his secretary to bring his guests some cold water bottles as a small courtesy.

"If you cannot or no longer wish to provide for your, I sincerely hope licensed pet then I suggest you take it to an animal shelter."

The man looks a little shifty-eyed now and Nathaniel is getting an iffy vibe from this weirdo.

Phoning his assistant again he asks for a veterinarian on deck and has the animal taken away.

Texting a Sheriff, an old buddy from work.

Well a guy who's stop by Plimpton, Plimpton & Plimpton to drink coffee with Maya on his days off at Rebetzels to come check him out.

After a few minutes everyone exits his office and he gets back to his paperwork. 

He is about to open a new file when he gets a text from Greg followed by one from Josh then a call from Darryl.

Nathaniel hopes no one died or worse, committed a felony and is using him as their one phone call.

"You've reached Nathaniel, no estoy aquí." He países holding back a little laugh and an eye-roll when he hears Darryl say an 'aw man' and like he's about to say something else to someone in the background.

"Hey. Nah. I'm kidding, what's up."

* * *

After work they are both stuck in traffic at different ends of the city yet they miraculously manage to make it home today around the same time.

Mere minutes from each other and that is not just because they hauled ass to get here.

Just pressing on his gas like they can afford to buy a pump which okay yes they individually can. Both are extremely successful.

Nathaniel kisses her forehead as he hands her a chicken wrap. 

He tried to go for something simple and easy yet elegant not to mention good.

Thinking he managed it because his cooking skills are definitely decent he sits down.

 "Get this a guy brought in an armadillo. The fuck, right. I directed him to the nearest animal shelter after having a vet check out the poor animal."

Just to be safe and in the clear I notified the police. I'm sure they'll get back to me if there's any trouble. And if it's my concern or the Zoo's. How was your day?" 

She goes to the fridge and gets them a glass of orange juice. Taking a sip and wondering if she should make them mimosas.

Leaning on the counter saying.

"I thought you needed a permit for that. Isn't it an exotic and in some cases endangered species."

"They need an Animal Breeding license for that one and people from the public don't go getting one willy-nilly." She picks at her food  and gets the bottle of ranch.

Handing it to him with his new upgraded drink she says that she got a call from the girls asking if they are going out to The Paddle for Open Mic Night before biting into her food.

He nods saying it could be fun and that he will pre-order Uber or Lyft for everyone. Really its whichever picks up the phone first.

By the end of the night he knows no one will be safe to drive. 

Not even the people he knows for a fact are actually better drivers when they are drunk.

* * *

 "Well I'm here to live my best life tonight. Whoo! And hey. Hey, I've got you next with the ultimate banger. 'Singin' in the rain'!" 

Nathaniel is a little tipsy as he points at White Josh who can clearly be heard mumbling 'please don't' as Greg screams.

Saying that he should choose literally anything else because of all the things and songs he hates this one is up there.

"Okay losers. My bestie Paula and I will sing something my other bestie Rebecca wrote while."

She pauses to take another drink and she laughs when she sees Hector wave then Valencia making out with her wife. 

Resuming she smiles at the crowd feeling awesome as she sees Paula's husband cheer in support of them. 

And because she can see that he is really dedicated. Just getting to the point where he's as drunk as the rest of them.

"Some losers from Magic Club and Josh do magic in the background. For reasons. So this one.."

She deadass points at the sky as if she's ready to get religious all of a sudden. "It goes out to all the f-..."


End file.
